Go Nello!

In a previous post, I addressed my struggles with the phrase, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." If you still need to read that post, click “Read On” and enjoy.

I missed one significant positive angle in my original post about the modern proverb - the concept of reframing your situation.

In general, redefining a terrible situation is my hunch on why the phrase “turn lemons into lemonade” is such a beloved expression. Reframing a traumatic event is a powerful tool used by professional counselors to help people walk through their grief. In battling my depression and anxiety, reframing the situation has been a significant help.

While I like this aspect of the phrase, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," I think there is still a better analogy that fundamentally connects with me on a deeper level - going Nello.

I promise this is not a mistyped word, although I am prone to spelling mistakes and typos. Nello is a term associated with the game 42. The game 42 was allegedly invented by two young Texans, William A. Thomas (12) and Walter Earl (14), after being caught and reprimanded for playing cards in the hayloft by their devout Baptist father. Click here to read more about the origin of this fantastic TX game. The game originates from the little town of Garner, TX in 1887 - and the game spread as those raised in conservative households desired to play card games but felt convicted due to preaching on cards being from the devil. The game is essentially a trick-based card game played with dominos.

I grew up in a conservative Christian family in West Texas (not to be confused with the city in East TX but the actual region of West TX). The game of 42 was a staple in our family, dominating all large gatherings. It was my dream and desire as a young boy to be able to play with the grown-ups in our makeshift family tournaments on Christmas Day. And to one day top my grandfather, Earnest Hudson, who was an expert at keeping track of counts in his head. Grandpa Earnest was so good at the game that within two rounds, he could tell you what dominos you had in your hands based on how you played.

Generally, in the game of 42, you are searching for large dominos, either the double 6, 5, 4 - as these dominos statistically will give you be best odds of winning the game. This game is a game for four players and you have a partner to rely on for making your "count," the number of points ("tricks") you stated that you would win before the hand begins.

In many ways, the game of 42 is very similar to the card game Euchre, but there is one noteworthy difference between the two games. In Euchre, if you are dealt a farmer's hand, you are out of luck - solely reliant on your partner or overly generous house rules. In 42 on the other hand, if you are dealt a low hand you might not be out of the game entirely - because you can go Nello.

As a young boy going Nello was one of the most challenging feats. It felt like the adults around me were cheating because instead of catching tricks, they avoided catching a single point. In essence, you are flipping the game on its head and playing it backward. You are looking at your low dominos, trying to figure out how not to catch a single trick and force your opponents to take their good hands and try to make you win a trick.

I never realized this skill's value in life until Vanessa's accident. It is easy to look at a bad situation and decide it is impossible. To see the terrible hand dealt and say there is no way to win - I give up. But it has been refreshing to look at the situation from many angles and figure out how to make this hand work - how to go Nello with the hand life has dealt us.

One of our new favorite things to do is check out all the creative ways that others facing similar situations with spinal cord injuries have learned to adapt. Oddly, we have even had fun thinking about how to make seemingly easy tasks doable in the new normal.

Simple, daily tasks need a fresh set of eyes to accomplish, like helping Vanessa transfer into our car or into a shower, or even seeing Vanessa’s mind work to figure out how to pedal the piano without the use of her legs. It is refreshing amid our frustration to pause, breathe, and think about the situation differently.

It is like the universe has encouraged us to have fun, rethink the normal, create, adapt, and figure out a new way to make everything work for us again.

The new normal gets frustrating. Like going Nello in 42 you only sometimes succeed. But there is a newness to life, seeing it through a new lens, and we pray that we can continue to see the fun/creativity in our new life situation.

You know, because when life gives you a low 42 hand, go nello.

I doubt that will catch on anytime soon but here is to hoping.