Thoughts on Missing Someone

Missing someone is a natural part of life and love.

One of the most surprising quotes I have come across in the past while is one from the MCU show WandaVision. To sum up, a very secular show, WandaVision, is a show that shows the main character, Wanda, bursting with grief so much so that she captures an entire city and takes them hostage to recreate the life always dreamed of between Wanda and Vision (recently passed). 

Towards the end of Episode Eight of WandaVision, we see the defining moment of the main characters' pain and grief exposed. 

Wanda: It's just like this wave washing over me again and again. It knocks me down and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I can't... It's gonna drown me.

Vision: No. No, Wanda.

Wanda: How do you know?

Vision: Because it can't be all sorrow, can it? I've always been alone so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known. I've never experienced loss because I've never had a loved one to lose. What is grief, if not love persevering?

Some of us might be experiencing grief, and we do our best to overcome or suppress the emotions. But I want to propose to you that it is healthy and ok to miss your loved one and have feelings of grief.

It is not ok to miss someone so much that you create a delusion and live shut up in your mind trying your hardest to create a reality that will never be, much like Wanda in WandaVision.

But it is ok and healthy to bring your hurt and pain to God. He cares for you. 

We see God's care for the afflicted repeatedly throughout the old and new testaments. 

One Psalm that sticks out to me is a Psalm of David where David cries out to God to be heard and delivered from his thoughts and enemies.

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me? (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV)

And even though his anguish and grief, David comes back to the reminder that:

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13:5-6)

On the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus describes that he cares for those who mourn. With the promise that they will be comforted. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matt. 5:4)

And a verse I hold onto closely in need. God hears our prayers and cares for us. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phili. 4:6-7)

Our God cares about us even in our most profound need and pain. I was reminded of this on Sunday because it is the fourth year I have celebrated my father's passing. 

Each year has not felt like a celebration. In fact, the first two years were some of the most challenging and complicated for me to describe. In these early years, I missed my father and struggled with God about why he was taken from us so soon. With time and understanding, I have learned to celebrate my father's life as I continue to walk through my personal grief journey. And God is gracious in showing me how he views my father's life and legacy with each passing year. 

I have found comfort in marking his passing by reading scripture, praying, and eating at a place I know he would enjoy - mainly a breakfast place. 

I want to leave you with a link to a prayer that Vanessa and I prayed together on Sunday, April 18th, 2021 in his remembrance. I pray that this resource will bless some of you who might need to mark an important day remembering someone you love who has passed away.

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"